One Final Note
As I finished up my "Who's Bad?" blog, today's date hit home. I couldn't ignore the significance of September 11th in all of our lives. There are also exterior bad guys, like terrorists, who may be beyond our reach, but we can't let them run our lives by living in fear. Today is a day to honor those who lost their lives on that fateful day and to pay tribute by living fruitful lives that also make a difference in the lives of others. Do something special today for someone else; it can be someone you know, or a total stranger. If you're out of work, volunteer to help out at a local charity for the day or even beyond. Strange, and good, things happen when we do good for others...
Friday, September 11, 2009
Who's Bad?
I wasn't sure where I was taking this when the title first hit me--just thought I was having a Michael Jackson moment :). But as I was riding along the highway with my family on Labor Day weekend, the bigger question hit me: "Who are the bad guys in your life?" For children, it's elementary, right? They watch a few TV shows or movies and begin to single out the bad guys, the men wearing black hats on their heads or bad intentions on their faces. It's not always so clear cut for adults, though.
Identifying the Dream Snatchers
Sometimes the bad guys are people who don't even know it. They really think they're looking out for you. I call them dream snatchers. They feel like it's their mission in life to give you a constant reality check, and their reality is pretty bleak. When you consider going back to school, they sneer, "You don't need to take those classes. Just a waste of money." If you dare to offer a response, they quip back, "You were never that great in school, anyway. Why go back now?" But why are they pushing up on your dream, your game plan, anyway? When you decide to look for a better job or to start your own business, they warn, "I wouldn't give up a good paying job for a pipe dream!" Hey, good for them, since it's not their dream. I've found that the most negative folks in our lives tend to be the ones who've given up on their own dreams. Fortunately, I haven't had too many in my life, but I know many people who have. The key is to "hold fast to [your] dreams," as Langston Hughes wrote in his poem, "Dreams."
Back-to-School Daze
A great example of following your dreams is my husband, Charles. When I met him, he had left a stable corporate job to go into the school system as a substitute teacher. Now that was a major shift. He left a salaried position for a pay-as-you-go gig; but it was all in his plan. He'd decided that it was more important to make an impact on young lives than to make the big bucks. And his risk paid off. He eventually found his way into a Master's degree program in education that afforded him a full scholarship and a stipend--i.e., they paid him! Over a decade and two Master's degrees later, he's mentoring young men in his school system and working full time as a dean of students in a middle school. (The pay isn't bad, either ;-)). So, following his dream actually paid off in the end, in more ways than one. By the way, he had a dream snatcher in the school system in high school who had advised him that college wasn't for him, and he'd be better off finding a trade. Did I mention he has two Master's degrees? Get my point?
Fortunately, I saw the dreamer and the potential in him because, let's be real, a lot of women would have run the other way upon hearing that he'd left a cushy job to be a sub. Instead, I appreciated his vision and his dream. As a matter of fact, I always tell people that I fell in love with his heart first--his heart for young people and making a difference. And here we are 15 years later working on the next big dream together.
Facing the Giants
The ironic thing about the best dream snatchers is that they're often close relatives who truly think they have your best interest at heart. You can take two approaches with them: 1) Just ignore them and everything they say. It helps to act like you're listening, but really you're blocking out the noise by silently praying or repeating empowering statements to yourself mentally. 2) You can give them a wake-up call. The best way of handling it is to explain that you appreciate their advice and concern, but you're going to do what's best for yourself and your future. There's a great movie entitled "Facing the Giants," that's even been turned into a book. It shares the story of someone whose faith helps him to get through the toughest times in his life. It makes for great inspiration in tough times.
The Enemy Within
I would be remiss if I didn't add one final note: Don't sabotage yourself. I think you know what I mean--and I've definitely been guilty of it myself. Just when things are going well, you start to get a shot of insecurity or fear, and the next thing you know, you've quit or even backtracked to where you started. Believe me, there are enough bad guys out there without us giving them a hand in smashing our dreams. Walk confidently in your day-to-day life knowing that you are here for a divine purpose, and it's your job to fulfill it. Above all else, go for it!
Ever dreaming,
Regina
I wasn't sure where I was taking this when the title first hit me--just thought I was having a Michael Jackson moment :). But as I was riding along the highway with my family on Labor Day weekend, the bigger question hit me: "Who are the bad guys in your life?" For children, it's elementary, right? They watch a few TV shows or movies and begin to single out the bad guys, the men wearing black hats on their heads or bad intentions on their faces. It's not always so clear cut for adults, though.
Identifying the Dream Snatchers
Sometimes the bad guys are people who don't even know it. They really think they're looking out for you. I call them dream snatchers. They feel like it's their mission in life to give you a constant reality check, and their reality is pretty bleak. When you consider going back to school, they sneer, "You don't need to take those classes. Just a waste of money." If you dare to offer a response, they quip back, "You were never that great in school, anyway. Why go back now?" But why are they pushing up on your dream, your game plan, anyway? When you decide to look for a better job or to start your own business, they warn, "I wouldn't give up a good paying job for a pipe dream!" Hey, good for them, since it's not their dream. I've found that the most negative folks in our lives tend to be the ones who've given up on their own dreams. Fortunately, I haven't had too many in my life, but I know many people who have. The key is to "hold fast to [your] dreams," as Langston Hughes wrote in his poem, "Dreams."
Back-to-School Daze
A great example of following your dreams is my husband, Charles. When I met him, he had left a stable corporate job to go into the school system as a substitute teacher. Now that was a major shift. He left a salaried position for a pay-as-you-go gig; but it was all in his plan. He'd decided that it was more important to make an impact on young lives than to make the big bucks. And his risk paid off. He eventually found his way into a Master's degree program in education that afforded him a full scholarship and a stipend--i.e., they paid him! Over a decade and two Master's degrees later, he's mentoring young men in his school system and working full time as a dean of students in a middle school. (The pay isn't bad, either ;-)). So, following his dream actually paid off in the end, in more ways than one. By the way, he had a dream snatcher in the school system in high school who had advised him that college wasn't for him, and he'd be better off finding a trade. Did I mention he has two Master's degrees? Get my point?
Fortunately, I saw the dreamer and the potential in him because, let's be real, a lot of women would have run the other way upon hearing that he'd left a cushy job to be a sub. Instead, I appreciated his vision and his dream. As a matter of fact, I always tell people that I fell in love with his heart first--his heart for young people and making a difference. And here we are 15 years later working on the next big dream together.
Facing the Giants
The ironic thing about the best dream snatchers is that they're often close relatives who truly think they have your best interest at heart. You can take two approaches with them: 1) Just ignore them and everything they say. It helps to act like you're listening, but really you're blocking out the noise by silently praying or repeating empowering statements to yourself mentally. 2) You can give them a wake-up call. The best way of handling it is to explain that you appreciate their advice and concern, but you're going to do what's best for yourself and your future. There's a great movie entitled "Facing the Giants," that's even been turned into a book. It shares the story of someone whose faith helps him to get through the toughest times in his life. It makes for great inspiration in tough times.
The Enemy Within
I would be remiss if I didn't add one final note: Don't sabotage yourself. I think you know what I mean--and I've definitely been guilty of it myself. Just when things are going well, you start to get a shot of insecurity or fear, and the next thing you know, you've quit or even backtracked to where you started. Believe me, there are enough bad guys out there without us giving them a hand in smashing our dreams. Walk confidently in your day-to-day life knowing that you are here for a divine purpose, and it's your job to fulfill it. Above all else, go for it!
Ever dreaming,
Regina
Thursday, September 03, 2009
Living in Real Time
Do you tend to set your watch or clocks ahead? I mean, outside of daylight savings time? I did. It was crazy. My alarm clock was 10 to 11 minutes fast, my watch was 5 to 7 minutes fast, the car clocks were about 7 minutes ahead. It hit me one day how out of control the time thing was getting when I couldn’t figure out what time it really was: “Should I add three minutes, or is it six or seven?”
I couldn’t remember how fast the timepiece I was looking at was set. That’s when I realized I’d been living on borrowed time, quite literally. So I had to get to the root of the situation. And the question to myself was “why do we set all of our clocks fast?” The answer was simple: So that we can be on time, even ahead by a few minutes, when we’re rushing and not paying attention. And therein lay the real answer to my quandary. I shouldn’t be rushing through my days, through life. It would be so much better to live in real rather than borrowed time, I thought. But where to begin?
The starting point for me would have to be learning to say no. You’d think as a new mom—I had an 8-month old at the time—I’d have learned by then, but no. Well, I’m happy to say I have done it, just once. I said no to an assignment. I’ll admit, the guilt outweighed the satisfaction with time saved at first, but I appreciated it later. That doesn’t mean I slowed down, though. I still teach, freelance and work on my new business, but I make sure to prioritize. And my priority is family first, then everything else. I’m sure my husband, son and twins will appreciate it. They’re definitely worth my time, my real time.
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