Your New Life Resolution
Are you tired of New Year's resolutions? Maybe not. Maybe you're the type who celebrates achieving all of your goals, however lofty, every December. Or, maybe you cringe when the year's end comes and you realize how many of your resolutions have fallen by the wayside as life got in the way. I'd say I'm a little of both. As the end of the year nears, I find myself rushing to get at least a few of the must-do's off of my list. So, wherever you may fall, this one's for you. Actually, there are three. Call them three steps to beginning to live your new life resolution.

1. You Dig?
Why not take the time this January to dig a little deeper, to plan beyond the annual resolutions ritual and truly take stock of your life. What do you want to accomplish over the next five, ten, twenty years? What do you want for yourself, for your family? Is it a career that allows you more time with your loved ones? I have a friend who's an accomplished lawyer and is now preparing to go to graduate school to enter a field that will allow her more time with her children and husband. If you've been unemployed for a while, you may be thinking, "I just need a job, period!" But why limit yourself? As long as you're looking, you might as well strive for and expect the best. First and foremost, however, I want to stress that I'm not knocking New Year's resolutions in general. I actually think they can be helpful, as a start. I also think they can be a little too temporary and sometimes daunting. They usually involve things like weight loss, getting organized, conquering debt. And they're all areas in which most of us could probably use some improvement. Yet somehow they can be limiting. I'm giving myself the next 12 months to accomplish A, B and C... It's great to have a plan, but it's even better to have a life plan.

2. Beginning with the End
As an educator, I've learned to plan for a semester by sometimes thinking backwards. I ask myself, "What do I want my students to take away with them at the end of this class?" I have to sit down and review my objectives, and then work on how my lessons from week to week can get them there. Well, we can use the same approach with our lives. Ask yourself, "What do I want to have accomplished by the time I retire?" If you're close to or at retirement, take it farther: "What do I want to be proud of on the last day of my life?" And you can look at the question from various angles--where you'd like to find yourself physically (health, location, home status, etc.), spiritually, emotionally, financially and so on. If you're married, I highly recommend reviewing your plans as a couple. You can write them separately, of course, since you're two individuals with specific needs and desires, but then come together and see where your plans intersect. If they seem to move in different directions, look for opportunities to move them toward a common path. You may even find some insights into your life partner's thoughts and actually circumvent what could have been potential problems down the line. If he wants to retire in Florida and you'd rather travel the country as a nomad in an RV, maybe you can compromise by finding a home base in Florida for a few months out of the year. That's a stretch, but you get my point.

3. Aligning with Your Calling
I know I get really caught up in talking about following and knowing your purpose, your calling, in life. That's because I truly believe that it should be your driving force. It should ignite your passion and carry you through every stage, every plan. So it's key to align your calling with your life plan. I've been grappling with really pinning mine down over the years, and, as I've mentioned before, I believe I'm called to authorship (books, blogs, etc.), and I now realize that I'm also called to volunteerism. I've always been good at bringing people together, and I plan to use both of my callings to make a difference in the lives of others for the better.
Now I can break that down into specific goals for the short and long term. In the short term, for example, I have to do all I can to help the people of Haiti--through donating money, mobilizing with others to send supplies, and keeping the Haitian people in our thoughts. In the long term, it may be establishing a foundation or opening learning centers both at home and abroad. I need a plan for this new year, for the next five, and for life. And it may change; there's nothing wrong with tweaking those plans as my circumstances change. The most important thing is to have a plan and to answer the call.

Ever dreaming,
Regina

Haitian Relief Update
My family has decided that, in honor of Dr. King's holiday, we're going to answer the call to volunteerism by beginning to pack up the shoebox care packages on Monday. We'll buy supplies over the weekend and then start compiling them. There's a chance that a delegation from our church will be going to Haiti later this month, and there are some other contacts that we've developed during the cause, so they will get there. We know that "preparation is the key to life," so we want to have care packages ready to ship out whenever the opportunity comes. Join us!

By the way, we've already made a monetary donation towards the cause, which is the quickest form of aid, so remember that is always the first and best option. Here's the website again with various organizations/venues for donations:
http://newsone.com/world/major-earthquake-hits-haiti-causing-tsunami-watch/

Love and Aid to Haiti

I want to do something from the ground up, something grassroots, to help the people of Haiti. I was thinking of a shoebox drive. Samaritan's Purse had one before Christmas for needy children of the world. I have to do some research on how to get the goods where they're needed, but it's worth a try. If you're interested in joining in, drop me a line...

For starters, I was thinking we could have our children help, to teach them a lesson about helping others and about basic humanity. We could have them help pack up the supplies and have them write notes or draw pictures if too young to write. For supplies, I was thinking things like: toothbrushes & toothpaste, hand sanitizer, baby wipes, small toys, dry food goods (beef jerky, dry fruit, nuts, etc., if allowed), plus personally signed notes from our children to theirs. I'm open to suggestions for supplies, just winging it.
If you prefer to donate money, which will get there more quickly, here's a great link to various organizations that are taking donations:
http://newsone.com/world/major-earthquake-hits-haiti-causing-tsunami-watch/

A Brand-New Look
The layout has changed, but the blog is the same. I hope you like the new look. Every now and then you need to get brand-new in your life. Here's my moment. I'm calling it my new lease on celebrating life. Join me and read on. By the way, it looks like you can finally become a follower without jumping through hoops. Just look over at the right column and click on the "Follow" box/link that allows you to become a follower of this blog. Thanks!

What's Your Legacy?
Have you ever thought about that, maybe even been haunted by it? I've been giving it a lot of thought lately. Maybe it's because I'm a parent--three times over, actually. Maybe it's because I feel like I've lived almost half of my life already. The question is, what do I have to show for it? And, more importantly, what will I do with the rest of it? What's my legacy? There are so many ways that you can interpret that, right? It's a weighted question, if nothing else.

Narrowing It Down
What do we even mean by legacy, first of all. It could be related to work, religion, family, financial status. I'll leave the parameters up to you for now. Still, since I brought it up, I figure it's only fair to use my own musings as an example. For me, the question came up within the context of my role as a mother and, on a larger scale, as a member of society. What can I begin, achieve, leave behind, that will somehow make a difference in the lives of my children as well as in the world at large?

I have to admit, I've felt as if I'm at some sort of crossroads lately. That's probably why it's taken me so long to get here, to this latest blog. I've had lots of ideas, but nothing seemed meaningful enough until that question popped up during a late-night/early morning journaling session: What's my legacy? My legacy. I haven't fully answered the question yet, but I have begun the hunt for meaning.

Finding Meaning
I want my legacy to be more than just paying lip service to people in this world who may or may not care about me and mine. Do you know what I mean? Well, as I write, I realize that my legacy is still under construction, and it's comprised of a few dreams that I have yet to fulfill, like the three books that I have to get out of me before they burn a hole right through my tortured writer's soul. But I digress...

I know that my legacy is taking shape. Yes, there is hope for all of us who may have dreams, and even lives, deferred. It begins with the physical, and forgive me if it seems cliche', but it's a fact: my legacy begins with the three dear hearts that I've been blessed to call my children. They are a physical manifestation of my legacy. What's even better is that they motivate me to want to build upon that legacy, to have something to call their own. So, how do I, how do we, get there?

Getting There
Well, for starters, you don't have to be a parent to have a foundation. Children are just one part of the equation, if you have them. There's also a little something known as your life's work. And it may be totally unrelated to your day job. Your legacy begins with your calling. Sounds simple enough, but what are you really called to do? For me, that's a heavy question.

It takes me back to late-night chats in college with close friends and acquaintances. We sat in intimate circles and talked of being called, of knowing we were meant to do something that would change the world. I still feel that way. And I believe that my legacy begins with writing, with reaching the world through the written word. Fortunately, this blog has become a part of that journey. Now it's your turn. What are you called to do, to change, to agitate, even? What have you done about it so far? Whatever your answer, keep your head up. You can start the process, no matter how small those first steps may seem. The time is at hand. Seize it.

Ever dreaming,
Regina

One Final Note
As I finished up my "Who's Bad?" blog, today's date hit home. I couldn't ignore the significance of September 11th in all of our lives. There are also exterior bad guys, like terrorists, who may be beyond our reach, but we can't let them run our lives by living in fear. Today is a day to honor those who lost their lives on that fateful day and to pay tribute by living fruitful lives that also make a difference in the lives of others. Do something special today for someone else; it can be someone you know, or a total stranger. If you're out of work, volunteer to help out at a local charity for the day or even beyond. Strange, and good, things happen when we do good for others...

Who's Bad?
I wasn't sure where I was taking this when the title first hit me--just thought I was having a Michael Jackson moment :). But as I was riding along the highway with my family on Labor Day weekend, the bigger question hit me: "Who are the bad guys in your life?" For children, it's elementary, right? They watch a few TV shows or movies and begin to single out the bad guys, the men wearing black hats on their heads or bad intentions on their faces. It's not always so clear cut for adults, though.

Identifying the Dream Snatchers
Sometimes the bad guys are people who don't even know it. They really think they're looking out for you. I call them dream snatchers. They feel like it's their mission in life to give you a constant reality check, and their reality is pretty bleak. When you consider going back to school, they sneer, "You don't need to take those classes. Just a waste of money." If you dare to offer a response, they quip back, "You were never that great in school, anyway. Why go back now?" But why are they pushing up on your dream, your game plan, anyway? When you decide to look for a better job or to start your own business, they warn, "I wouldn't give up a good paying job for a pipe dream!" Hey, good for them, since it's not their dream. I've found that the most negative folks in our lives tend to be the ones who've given up on their own dreams. Fortunately, I haven't had too many in my life, but I know many people who have. The key is to "hold fast to [your] dreams," as Langston Hughes wrote in his poem, "Dreams."

Back-to-School Daze
A great example of following your dreams is my husband, Charles. When I met him, he had left a stable corporate job to go into the school system as a substitute teacher. Now that was a major shift. He left a salaried position for a pay-as-you-go gig; but it was all in his plan. He'd decided that it was more important to make an impact on young lives than to make the big bucks. And his risk paid off. He eventually found his way into a Master's degree program in education that afforded him a full scholarship and a stipend--i.e., they paid him! Over a decade and two Master's degrees later, he's mentoring young men in his school system and working full time as a dean of students in a middle school. (The pay isn't bad, either ;-)). So, following his dream actually paid off in the end, in more ways than one. By the way, he had a dream snatcher in the school system in high school who had advised him that college wasn't for him, and he'd be better off finding a trade. Did I mention he has two Master's degrees? Get my point?
Fortunately, I saw the dreamer and the potential in him because, let's be real, a lot of women would have run the other way upon hearing that he'd left a cushy job to be a sub. Instead, I appreciated his vision and his dream. As a matter of fact, I always tell people that I fell in love with his heart first--his heart for young people and making a difference. And here we are 15 years later working on the next big dream together.

Facing the Giants
The ironic thing about the best dream snatchers is that they're often close relatives who truly think they have your best interest at heart. You can take two approaches with them: 1) Just ignore them and everything they say. It helps to act like you're listening, but really you're blocking out the noise by silently praying or repeating empowering statements to yourself mentally. 2) You can give them a wake-up call. The best way of handling it is to explain that you appreciate their advice and concern, but you're going to do what's best for yourself and your future. There's a great movie entitled "Facing the Giants," that's even been turned into a book. It shares the story of someone whose faith helps him to get through the toughest times in his life. It makes for great inspiration in tough times.

The Enemy Within
I would be remiss if I didn't add one final note: Don't sabotage yourself. I think you know what I mean--and I've definitely been guilty of it myself. Just when things are going well, you start to get a shot of insecurity or fear, and the next thing you know, you've quit or even backtracked to where you started. Believe me, there are enough bad guys out there without us giving them a hand in smashing our dreams. Walk confidently in your day-to-day life knowing that you are here for a divine purpose, and it's your job to fulfill it. Above all else, go for it!

Ever dreaming,
Regina

Living in Real Time

Do you tend to set your watch or clocks ahead? I mean, outside of daylight savings time? I did. It was crazy. My alarm clock was 10 to 11 minutes fast, my watch was 5 to 7 minutes fast, the car clocks were about 7 minutes ahead. It hit me one day how out of control the time thing was getting when I couldn’t figure out what time it really was: “Should I add three minutes, or is it six or seven?”

I couldn’t remember how fast the timepiece I was looking at was set. That’s when I realized I’d been living on borrowed time, quite literally. So I had to get to the root of the situation. And the question to myself was “why do we set all of our clocks fast?” The answer was simple: So that we can be on time, even ahead by a few minutes, when we’re rushing and not paying attention. And therein lay the real answer to my quandary. I shouldn’t be rushing through my days, through life. It would be so much better to live in real rather than borrowed time, I thought. But where to begin?

The starting point for me would have to be learning to say no. You’d think as a new mom—I had an 8-month old at the time—I’d have learned by then, but no. Well, I’m happy to say I have done it, just once. I said no to an assignment. I’ll admit, the guilt outweighed the satisfaction with time saved at first, but I appreciated it later. That doesn’t mean I slowed down, though. I still teach, freelance and work on my new business, but I make sure to prioritize. And my priority is family first, then everything else. I’m sure my husband, son and twins will appreciate it. They’re definitely worth my time, my real time.

Thought for the day--for the month:

"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.
Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure."
--Marianne Williamson

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Managing the Meltdowns

So I was online late last night, a little before midnight, and my Internet service went down--in the middle of adding my new blog entry. Needless to say, I was having a moment. My saving grace was that I had typed up the entry in Word, so it wasn't completely lost. Still, I was in the zone and ready to get my latest words to the wise out there. After a few minutes of opening and closing browsers--I tried Firefox, Netscape and Explorer--I realized that it was bigger than that. It was not a good moment. "Is my service shut off?" I wondered. "Who took care of the bill last?" I began to have a bit of trepidation about whether I'd have any service at all."Not now..."

Here I was, blogging about Re-Vision, and I couldn't even get past the computer screen. Here I was, waxing poetic about teaching moments, and I was getting caught up in the moment. Well, as you can tell by reading this, the service is working just fine. I just needed to unplug everything and start over. Guess what? I needed to do the same thing with myself. Why was I so quick to panic and think the worst? I used that teaching moment to unplug from the desktop--seems like there's an invisible umbilical cord connecting me to it sometimes--and take some time to unwind. Translation: I backed off and went to bed. This morning, after some much-needed sleep, I called technical support and "poof" found myself tickling the keyboard again. And now you can see my latest, "I Hope You Danced," which follows this entry. Enjoy!