A Brand-New Look
The layout has changed, but the blog is the same. I hope you like the new look. Every now and then you need to get brand-new in your life. Here's my moment. I'm calling it my new lease on celebrating life. Join me and read on. By the way, it looks like you can finally become a follower without jumping through hoops. Just look over at the right column and click on the "Follow" box/link that allows you to become a follower of this blog. Thanks!

What's Your Legacy?
Have you ever thought about that, maybe even been haunted by it? I've been giving it a lot of thought lately. Maybe it's because I'm a parent--three times over, actually. Maybe it's because I feel like I've lived almost half of my life already. The question is, what do I have to show for it? And, more importantly, what will I do with the rest of it? What's my legacy? There are so many ways that you can interpret that, right? It's a weighted question, if nothing else.

Narrowing It Down
What do we even mean by legacy, first of all. It could be related to work, religion, family, financial status. I'll leave the parameters up to you for now. Still, since I brought it up, I figure it's only fair to use my own musings as an example. For me, the question came up within the context of my role as a mother and, on a larger scale, as a member of society. What can I begin, achieve, leave behind, that will somehow make a difference in the lives of my children as well as in the world at large?

I have to admit, I've felt as if I'm at some sort of crossroads lately. That's probably why it's taken me so long to get here, to this latest blog. I've had lots of ideas, but nothing seemed meaningful enough until that question popped up during a late-night/early morning journaling session: What's my legacy? My legacy. I haven't fully answered the question yet, but I have begun the hunt for meaning.

Finding Meaning
I want my legacy to be more than just paying lip service to people in this world who may or may not care about me and mine. Do you know what I mean? Well, as I write, I realize that my legacy is still under construction, and it's comprised of a few dreams that I have yet to fulfill, like the three books that I have to get out of me before they burn a hole right through my tortured writer's soul. But I digress...

I know that my legacy is taking shape. Yes, there is hope for all of us who may have dreams, and even lives, deferred. It begins with the physical, and forgive me if it seems cliche', but it's a fact: my legacy begins with the three dear hearts that I've been blessed to call my children. They are a physical manifestation of my legacy. What's even better is that they motivate me to want to build upon that legacy, to have something to call their own. So, how do I, how do we, get there?

Getting There
Well, for starters, you don't have to be a parent to have a foundation. Children are just one part of the equation, if you have them. There's also a little something known as your life's work. And it may be totally unrelated to your day job. Your legacy begins with your calling. Sounds simple enough, but what are you really called to do? For me, that's a heavy question.

It takes me back to late-night chats in college with close friends and acquaintances. We sat in intimate circles and talked of being called, of knowing we were meant to do something that would change the world. I still feel that way. And I believe that my legacy begins with writing, with reaching the world through the written word. Fortunately, this blog has become a part of that journey. Now it's your turn. What are you called to do, to change, to agitate, even? What have you done about it so far? Whatever your answer, keep your head up. You can start the process, no matter how small those first steps may seem. The time is at hand. Seize it.

Ever dreaming,
Regina

One Final Note
As I finished up my "Who's Bad?" blog, today's date hit home. I couldn't ignore the significance of September 11th in all of our lives. There are also exterior bad guys, like terrorists, who may be beyond our reach, but we can't let them run our lives by living in fear. Today is a day to honor those who lost their lives on that fateful day and to pay tribute by living fruitful lives that also make a difference in the lives of others. Do something special today for someone else; it can be someone you know, or a total stranger. If you're out of work, volunteer to help out at a local charity for the day or even beyond. Strange, and good, things happen when we do good for others...

Who's Bad?
I wasn't sure where I was taking this when the title first hit me--just thought I was having a Michael Jackson moment :). But as I was riding along the highway with my family on Labor Day weekend, the bigger question hit me: "Who are the bad guys in your life?" For children, it's elementary, right? They watch a few TV shows or movies and begin to single out the bad guys, the men wearing black hats on their heads or bad intentions on their faces. It's not always so clear cut for adults, though.

Identifying the Dream Snatchers
Sometimes the bad guys are people who don't even know it. They really think they're looking out for you. I call them dream snatchers. They feel like it's their mission in life to give you a constant reality check, and their reality is pretty bleak. When you consider going back to school, they sneer, "You don't need to take those classes. Just a waste of money." If you dare to offer a response, they quip back, "You were never that great in school, anyway. Why go back now?" But why are they pushing up on your dream, your game plan, anyway? When you decide to look for a better job or to start your own business, they warn, "I wouldn't give up a good paying job for a pipe dream!" Hey, good for them, since it's not their dream. I've found that the most negative folks in our lives tend to be the ones who've given up on their own dreams. Fortunately, I haven't had too many in my life, but I know many people who have. The key is to "hold fast to [your] dreams," as Langston Hughes wrote in his poem, "Dreams."

Back-to-School Daze
A great example of following your dreams is my husband, Charles. When I met him, he had left a stable corporate job to go into the school system as a substitute teacher. Now that was a major shift. He left a salaried position for a pay-as-you-go gig; but it was all in his plan. He'd decided that it was more important to make an impact on young lives than to make the big bucks. And his risk paid off. He eventually found his way into a Master's degree program in education that afforded him a full scholarship and a stipend--i.e., they paid him! Over a decade and two Master's degrees later, he's mentoring young men in his school system and working full time as a dean of students in a middle school. (The pay isn't bad, either ;-)). So, following his dream actually paid off in the end, in more ways than one. By the way, he had a dream snatcher in the school system in high school who had advised him that college wasn't for him, and he'd be better off finding a trade. Did I mention he has two Master's degrees? Get my point?
Fortunately, I saw the dreamer and the potential in him because, let's be real, a lot of women would have run the other way upon hearing that he'd left a cushy job to be a sub. Instead, I appreciated his vision and his dream. As a matter of fact, I always tell people that I fell in love with his heart first--his heart for young people and making a difference. And here we are 15 years later working on the next big dream together.

Facing the Giants
The ironic thing about the best dream snatchers is that they're often close relatives who truly think they have your best interest at heart. You can take two approaches with them: 1) Just ignore them and everything they say. It helps to act like you're listening, but really you're blocking out the noise by silently praying or repeating empowering statements to yourself mentally. 2) You can give them a wake-up call. The best way of handling it is to explain that you appreciate their advice and concern, but you're going to do what's best for yourself and your future. There's a great movie entitled "Facing the Giants," that's even been turned into a book. It shares the story of someone whose faith helps him to get through the toughest times in his life. It makes for great inspiration in tough times.

The Enemy Within
I would be remiss if I didn't add one final note: Don't sabotage yourself. I think you know what I mean--and I've definitely been guilty of it myself. Just when things are going well, you start to get a shot of insecurity or fear, and the next thing you know, you've quit or even backtracked to where you started. Believe me, there are enough bad guys out there without us giving them a hand in smashing our dreams. Walk confidently in your day-to-day life knowing that you are here for a divine purpose, and it's your job to fulfill it. Above all else, go for it!

Ever dreaming,
Regina

Living in Real Time

Do you tend to set your watch or clocks ahead? I mean, outside of daylight savings time? I did. It was crazy. My alarm clock was 10 to 11 minutes fast, my watch was 5 to 7 minutes fast, the car clocks were about 7 minutes ahead. It hit me one day how out of control the time thing was getting when I couldn’t figure out what time it really was: “Should I add three minutes, or is it six or seven?”

I couldn’t remember how fast the timepiece I was looking at was set. That’s when I realized I’d been living on borrowed time, quite literally. So I had to get to the root of the situation. And the question to myself was “why do we set all of our clocks fast?” The answer was simple: So that we can be on time, even ahead by a few minutes, when we’re rushing and not paying attention. And therein lay the real answer to my quandary. I shouldn’t be rushing through my days, through life. It would be so much better to live in real rather than borrowed time, I thought. But where to begin?

The starting point for me would have to be learning to say no. You’d think as a new mom—I had an 8-month old at the time—I’d have learned by then, but no. Well, I’m happy to say I have done it, just once. I said no to an assignment. I’ll admit, the guilt outweighed the satisfaction with time saved at first, but I appreciated it later. That doesn’t mean I slowed down, though. I still teach, freelance and work on my new business, but I make sure to prioritize. And my priority is family first, then everything else. I’m sure my husband, son and twins will appreciate it. They’re definitely worth my time, my real time.

Thought for the day--for the month:

"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.
Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure."
--Marianne Williamson

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Managing the Meltdowns

So I was online late last night, a little before midnight, and my Internet service went down--in the middle of adding my new blog entry. Needless to say, I was having a moment. My saving grace was that I had typed up the entry in Word, so it wasn't completely lost. Still, I was in the zone and ready to get my latest words to the wise out there. After a few minutes of opening and closing browsers--I tried Firefox, Netscape and Explorer--I realized that it was bigger than that. It was not a good moment. "Is my service shut off?" I wondered. "Who took care of the bill last?" I began to have a bit of trepidation about whether I'd have any service at all."Not now..."

Here I was, blogging about Re-Vision, and I couldn't even get past the computer screen. Here I was, waxing poetic about teaching moments, and I was getting caught up in the moment. Well, as you can tell by reading this, the service is working just fine. I just needed to unplug everything and start over. Guess what? I needed to do the same thing with myself. Why was I so quick to panic and think the worst? I used that teaching moment to unplug from the desktop--seems like there's an invisible umbilical cord connecting me to it sometimes--and take some time to unwind. Translation: I backed off and went to bed. This morning, after some much-needed sleep, I called technical support and "poof" found myself tickling the keyboard again. And now you can see my latest, "I Hope You Danced," which follows this entry. Enjoy!

I Hope You Danced

Have you had a chance to Do the Hustle yet? It’s okay if you dance to a different tune, just make sure you dance. If you’re not familiar with Lee Ann Womack’s popular song, “I Hope You Dance,” you should take a look at the lyrics some time. Here’s a quick excerpt: I hope you never fear those mountains in the distance/ Never settle for the path of least resistance/ Living might mean taking chances/ But they're worth taking… Isn’t it time you took a chance on your dreams? In this economy, there’s a lot less to lose.

Embracing Re-Vision

One aspect of finding your hustle that I didn’t speak to in my last blog is something that might seem totally unrelated. It’s the idea of what I call Re-Vision. Back in the day, folks would speak of taking stock of your life; well, this is pretty much along those lines. Re-Vision is reassessing where you are and where you want to be at any given point in your life. I find myself going through the process at certain milestones: hitting 30, having a child, changing jobs. Those were the moments when I reconsidered what really mattered to me and what/who I was working for when all was said and done.

Writing is one of my first loves, especially creative writing. And one thing I’ve learned well, something that I try to instill in my students, is that revision—updating the original work so that it’s more polished—is just as important as the initial writing itself. The same goes for our goals. They may not be perfect the first time through; or, they may need tweaking at some point, as you take a look at your outcomes and determine successes vs. teaching moments (failure is in the eye of the beholder). It's okay to start over.

Teaching the Teacher

My husband and I experienced a Re-Vision teaching moment very recently. At the beginning of the summer, we decided that we were going to sell our townhouse and buy a larger single-family home so that we could take advantage of the amazing interest rates that abounded at the time. We figured we had valid reasons. For one thing, a lot had changed over the five years since we’d moved into our home. The biggest change was the fact that when we bought it, we had no children; now, we have three. Still, we were able to fit pretty comfortably in the space, since there are three bedrooms.

Whatever the case, we were on a mission to move on up. So, motivated by our new prospects, we fixed up, cleaned up and spent a good amount of money on getting our place “show ready.” What we didn’t expect was the amount of stress that would be involved in keeping it that way with three small children. It was an interesting process.

We spent many a gallon of gas driving around looking for areas in which we’d like to settle down again—some as close as down the street, and others as much as 40 minutes away. But nothing seemed to be just right for us. An all-too-common comment we’d make to each other was, “This is not an upgrade.” Finally, about six weeks or so into the process, we realized that we were pretty happy with what we have, especially for the price in comparison to the houses we were viewing. We actually found a new appreciation for our home as a result of the search. In the end, I was able to swallow my pride, along with my wallet, and make a new plan with the hubby. We figure a larger vehicle is more feasible, and more affordable, in the near future.

My Little Cha-Cha

Okay, I’ll admit that the hustle is a little before my time, though I have some vague memories of it from childhood (lol). So I’ll switch over to one of my more recent dances of choice, the “Cha-Cha.” You know, “Cha-cha one time…” Anyway, I figured that it was only fair to give you an update on my own dance moves since the Hustle blog. I’ve actually done my share of research and applied for some freelance positions online that would allow me to work at my own pace, even during the school year. I told my hubby earlier this evening, “I wish the thought had just hit me at the beginning of the summer!” Hey, genius is no respecter of time, right? Well, I’ll keep you posted on my progress, if you’ll keep me up to speed on yours.

Ever dreaming,

Regina

Do the Hustle!

Who's not looking for a gig on the side these days, right? Well, I'm here to motivate you to get your hustle on, if you haven't found one already. And, just as importantly, if you have found a hustle that works for you, please share your comments and insights. In other words, share the knowledge, which is your real power.

Square Biz?
My husband Charles and I have been talking for years about finding a "family business," something that we can do from home and then hopefully retire comfortably into once we're done with our full-time jobs. We're both in the education field, so we technically have the summers off, although we're often wrapped up in side projects and other means of keeping the summertime income flowing. The challenge for us has been finding that middle ground between our shared interests--passions, really--and skill sets. I'm definitely the driving force behind this ultimate plan. I call myself the consummate entrepreneur.

Narrowing the Playing Field
Going beyond the 9-to-5 is elementary for me. My passions keep me on the more creative side of the work force. And I've been working my little side jobs since at least my early 20s when I realized I'd need some extra cash in order to finance little luxuries like attending grad school and, later, keeping my studio apartment. I've had success as a certified personal trainer (keep that one to yourself), freelance writer and editor, novel editor, fact checker, online editor, decorator and copy writer.

Oddly enough, the challenge for me has always been to simplify--to find that one hobby, that one talent, that I can focus upon completely so that I can build my little empire in the sun. Admittedly, over the years, as I've gone from single to married to the mother of one, to the mother of three, my motivations have changed. These days, I'd be satisfied with knowing that I'm helping to soften the blow of possibly hefty college bills (three in at one time) and a retirement that may not have the benefit of social security. But enough about me. Now, it's your turn...

A Three-Fold Solution
Are you ready to "do the hustle" for yourself? You can start out by taking an inventory of your talents, interests and hobbies. Try this simple technique: Take a clean sheet of paper and divide it into three columns with the headings "Talent," Interest" and "Hobby." Now fold the sheet, accordion style, along those column lines; that will just allow you to look exclusively at each topic.

You're going to tackle this list in two basic steps. Step One is to brainstorm, meaning to quickly jot down whatever you feel falls under each of those columns. More specifically, what are your special talents? Are you a writer, singer, painter, musician? Whatever fits should go under the "Talent" column. Next, consider the various areas where you have interests, even if you haven't pursued them fully. Do you like gardening, even though you have more of a window flower box than a garden? Are you good at bringing groups of people together? You can write down your areas of interest and when you come back to them later, just add what you would need to do in order to make that interest a talent and area of expertise. Finally, there are the hobbies, which can almost speak for themselves. Are you an avid cyclist or hiker? Do you love bowling at midnight? Again, whatever it is, as inconsequential as it may sound, write it down under "Hobby." You're on a roll now. And just in time. It's finally time for Step Two.

So, since Step One was the brainstorming stage, you can consider Step Two your reflective phase. It starts with you. Are there any connections between the three columns? Write them down. Are there entries that ignite your passion as you read them over, making your heart beat a little faster? Take your time with each column and choose the top one or two entries that you think best represent who you are and what you want to do. You've probably heard it before: What would you do for free because you enjoy it so much? (It was the creative arts for me--things like writing and creating.) Once you feel like you've covered all three columns well, make sure you add in the training or research it would require to fulfill the item(s) in Column 2/"Interests." That's your first area of research.

Now, here's where I'd like to suggest an optional Step Three. That would involve sharing the top choices from your columns and reflections with at least two persons whom you trust. It might be your soulmate, it might be your classmate, just make sure you choose someone who can be trusted with your vision and your dream. What does s/he think of your choices? Do they jibe with what s/he knows of you? Ask him/her to brainstorm with you on how to take your lists to the next level. Finally, go for it!

Well now I've said my peace, so I'll just hand over the writing to you for a while. Enjoy! And, please, remember to share what you've discovered and accomplished with me and others.

Ever dreaming,
Regina